ok whoever stole the toilet

RETURN IT NOW

(yes, this is an ACTUAL news story)

Toilet By Trail Stolen

By LYNN DOAN Courant Staff Writer November 30 2006 WINDSOR LOCKS -- A portable toilet for bikers and hikers along the Windsor Locks canal has gone missing and folks in town are, to say the least, bummed. Town officials, trying to get to the bottom of the $700 toilet's disappearance, have gone to the old Montgomery Co. mill site, where the toilet was stationed. But the culprit, or culprits, didn't leave any clues, said First Selectman Steve Wawruck, who was alerted to the lavatory's disappearance a few weeks ago by its owner, Kevin Carney, who planned to report the theft by today.Wawruck recently went in search of the cream-colored can, which was trimmed with green, but found nothing."There were no marks on the ground indicating it being dragged," Wawruck said Wednesday. "But I'll tell you what, I had to [go to the restroom] while I was there, and I couldn't."The toilet had been inaccessible to hikers since July, when a large fire destroyed part of the mill complex and the town erected a barbed-wire fence around it and the portable toilet to keep folks out of danger............