Thursday, January 19, 2006

it IS the grrrl next door, it is YOU and it is ME

the woman says when she was raped in college those many years ago, the university discouraged her from contacting the police. they wanted campus security to handle it. handle it they did NOT.

Bizarre apology letter leads to arrest in alleged rape

By Hoa Nguyen
Staff Writer January 18, 2006
There are only four times that Liz Seccuro remembers having come into contact with a man who allegedly raped her more than 21 years ago. The first was on the night of the attack, five weeks after arriving on campus in the fall of 1984 to attend her first year at the University of Virginia. The second time was from a note he attached to her door telling her to contact him.The third time was two years later, when her sorority house ordered a pizza and she opened the door to discover that he was the delivery man. The fourth time came last September, when a letter bearing his name and return address arrived at her Greenwich home. "I was so stunned, so shocked," Seccuro, 39, said yesterday. And yet, she could guess the contents of the letter. "A part of me knew exactly what this was," she said. "This is my rapist apologizing to me.".........

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am not surprised at Ms. Seccuro's response to the letter, but she should not let it continue to consume her. Forgiveness is just as much (if not more) for the benefit of the one doing the forgiving as for the one forgiven.

I admire Mr. Beebe for facing his demons, and I don't make light of what he did (the story reminds me of a situation at Berkeley in the 1980's that I was shocked to hear that others did not find it as wrong as I did).

At this point, I don't think that all of Ms. Seccuro's demons are the sole responsibility of Mr. Beebe. Forgiving is not about abandoning your power; it is about weilding your power, and with great confidence.

I pray for both Will and Liz, as well as for those who love them.

-Mark

Anonymous said...

As a victim of sexual abuse myself, I understand Liz Seccuro's rage and bitterness regarding her offender. However, a conviction will not relieve her of that bitterness. She needs to forgive him and herself and move on and only God will be able to help her do that. Even if her rapist never asks forgiveness, which he has, she must forgive him so that she is not consumed with the misery of it for the rest of her life. I pray for Liz and for Will Beebe that they will both find the peace and joy she speaks of through Christ the one who died and rose for our sins. At this point I believe that Will Beebe will find that peace more quickly than Liz will as he is ready to face his sins and deal with them. May God bless both of these people as they go through this "trial".

Anonymous said...

My friend was gang-raped by her drunken friends when she was a teenager. A pregnancy followed. She miscarried. No one believed her. She left her country at 18 years old. On one of her visits back home, twenty years later, one of her attackers apologized, saying he is now a father of girls. How would you feel about forgiving him? How would you feel if he had neighborhood kids over at his house to play? Would you leave it up to God to make sure the man never got drunk again?

Anonymous said...

Everyone is missing the point. He wasn't asking for forgiveness. He was asking if there was anything he could do to make it better, knowing he probably couldn't. He probably thought long and hard about whether contacting her was the best thing to do. In the end, he made that judgment call, left the next step to her, she chose to send him to prison, and he surrendered himself and went to prison. He caused harm, realized it, and accepted the consequences. I hope him going to prison helps her in some way. It's tough to find anything "right" in such a grim scenario.

a rose is a rose said...

anonymous,

i don't know if you're male or female. i don't know if you KNOW. all i can say is I KNOW what she went through.

i believe in miracles. i SAW ONE (NOT in this type of circumstance mind you)

i actually DO think he is sorry, he wants to repent.

that in no way changes what he did to her. it cannot.

i have many more things to say about this, but i won't say them here.