Friday, March 28, 2008

i just turned 55 a few days ago

i have always looked different. from the time i was a child until now - and oh, by the way, i'm NOT going to stop looking different either. i like myself. it took time, but i do. i don't want to blend. i don't want to be the grrrl next door (nothing wrong with that, it's just NOT me). i stand out. i get stared at. i'm NOT seeking that mind you (no matter what you think, i'm not). my friend philip (my best friend for years and years and years, but we no longer are in touch) and i conducted an experiment in nyc once. you figure i'd get stared at HERE but not there, right? wrong. this was years ago (i think we were about 20 give or take) but here's what we did.

in the day time, we went out. i was in a flannel shirt, jeans and construction boots (ok, they WERE silver) and little makeup. he walked away from me and observed people's reactions to me. he was in the state of disbelief. he swore to me he never noticed how many people stare at me. AND i was very low key. then we went out at night. i got all gussied up. full makeup, jewelry (well i wear my jewelry ALL of the time), clothing..... the reactions were JUST the same. neither of us had an answer.

i remember one year my old boss had a friend of his visit him at work. jim (my old boss) introduced me to his friend. at one point the friend came up to me and asked why i looked like i did since halloween had already passed (yes, this DID happen and yes it DID come from an 'adult').

not everyone is cruel and stupid. GOOD things happen to me as well. once at work this older (yup, older than me) woman came up to me and told me she looked forward to seeing me each and every day. i was a bright spot in her day - she loved seeing what i was wearing. another time in the grocery store another woman said almost the same thing, how everyone else looked alike and was rather drab. she was glad to see someone looking like me shopping in that store! and this stands out in my mind as well. i was standing in a very long line in a movie theater one day (afternoon showing). a group of young boys was in another line (it was obviously a birthday party). the birthday boy broke away and came over to me. he was calling his father and saying something like, 'dad, take a look at this lady'..........i was starting to cringe, when all of a sudden he grabbed my hand and said, 'dad, look at all the cool stuff this lady has on' (i couldn't stop smiling for DAYS afterward).

i take the bad with the good. i know i can be rather imposing. i also know if someone took the time to say hello, i wouldn't cast a spell on them, i'd say hello back!

please take the time to say hello to people who are not exactly like YOU. you may be more than pleasantly surprised!
Teenager guilty of goth murder
By Kim Pilling, PA
A 15-year-old boy was today convicted of kicking and stamping to death a young woman in a park because she was dressed as a Goth. Brendan Harris attacked Sophie Lancaster, 20, as she begged him and four other youths to stop beating her boyfriend, art student Robert Maltby. Preston Crown Court heard the assault was totally unprovoked and the two victims from Bacup, Lancashire, were singled out because they looked different to their attackers. Miss Lancaster, a gap year student, died from serious head injuries two weeks after the attack in Stubbylee Park, Bacup, in the early hours of August 11 last year, while Mr Maltby, also a Goth, survived. A jury of nine men and three women found Harris guilty of murder within hours of retiring. After the verdict trial judge Anthony Russell QC lifted an order banning identification of Harris and Ryan Herbert, 16, who had pleaded guilty to Miss Lancaster's murder. Harris had denied the murder charge but pleaded guilty to causing grievous bodily harm to Mr Maltby after drinking two litres of cider, a bottle of Stella Artois lager and "quite a lot of" peach schnapps. ........

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