my advice is LET HIM GO

i'm not being cruel or cold. i know what i'm talking about. YOU'LL get sick (not just mentally BUT PHYSICALLY TOO). you'll stay awake worrying at night (or even the day). you'll have things stolen out of your home and purse (by him). you'll be lied to. oh sure he'll say he's sorry and it won't happen again. THAT is a lie too

when someone is addicted to crack or alcohol or another drug, they become ANOTHER PERSON. they are NOT the one you love. THEY JUST AREN'T.

on the other hand, i believe in miracles because i've seen it happen. someone CAN turn their life around (they will ALWAYS be an addict but they can go for the rest of their lives without drinking a drop or taking a hit) and become who you love again. it happened in my life. i have that person back. it didn't work the first time (hell, i don't know if it ever does the first time) but it DID end up working. it wasn't MY decision. i could yell or cry or get sick till i was blue in the face. it did NO GOOD. when this person made up THEIR OWN MIND TO STOP and DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT HONESTLY, well then it worked.

you are NOT doing yourself or your kids or this man one bit of good if you take him back like he is. don't do it. just don't do it.

Enabling, Or Simply Loving?"
Helen Ubiñas
April 20, 2006
Everything had been so good that Easter day. Ernestine Austin and her fiance, Michael Faienza, had gone to her soon-to-be in-laws' for dinner. The kids had run Faienza ragged playing ring-around-the-rosy while the adults watched from the deck. Then someone brought out the bourbon. Austin dumped out a few glasses and warned Faienza to stop. But he didn't; he was replacing one drug with another. That's what they argued about in the car. You read the story about the drunken dad who ran over his fiancee's foot before taking off with his kid on Easter Sunday, and probably thought the same thing I did: Clearly the guy has some issues - but what about that mother? First she says the good Samaritans who put their lives on the line to help her overreacted. And then she shows up at court this week and pleads with the judge to go easy on him. If you're like me, you wanted to drive over to her house and scream. I decided to call instead.Believe me, Austin told me Wednesday morning, she knows what she sounds like. But it's not so simple. It never is.For the past four months, she's been reeling with the discovery that the man she is engaged to marry is addicted to crack. He'd been addicted before she found out, but no one would have known, she insists. He had a job, a new car. He was a functioning addict. At first, she told him it was all or nothing. Either he stopped or he was out. He promised to change.................

addiction