i had a rather traumatic day yesterday

i am not afraid of many things.

i'm not afraid of motorcycle gangs
i'm not afraid of rats
i'm not afraid of snakes
i'm not afraid of being alone
i'm not afraid of the dark
i'm not afraid of public speaking

i am afraid of bugs (i mentioned it in an earlier posting) and i am afraid to drive on the highway (i never used to be but i am now. i wasn't in an accident. i don't know how when or why it happened, it just did). i know if there was an emergency i COULD do it. i also did it a while back when my dear friend 's' and his lovely wife 'j' asked me to drive them to the airport (they have done me SO many favors, there was NO WAY i could say no). of course it was at 4 am so the traffic was light. it was the middle of winter and still dark when i got home from driving them. i left my car at their house (we couldn't take my car cause we couldn't fit in it. i'm a pack rat and there is NO ROOM in my car anywhere BUT the drivers seat) and we took their car. 's' drove us to the airport and i would be driving myself home. so i get back to their house and pull the car into the driveway. I COULDN'T GET THE DAMN CAR KEY OUT OF THE IGNITION. i knew there had to be a release button somewhere, but it was winter, it was PITCH BLACK OUT. i had no flashlight and i was still shaking from the highway drive. i am NOT exaggerating when i say it took me well over 15 minutes to get that key out. couldn't find the dome light button either - i used my lighter to find the release. DAMN THEM. but i digress.................

i wanted to get a gift certificate for my niece at target yesterday. i had never been to target, but there is one just past westfarms mall at the other end of my town. i got in the left hand lane (there were two left turn lanes. i was in the right hand left turn lane) which i thought was going straight into the target driveway. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO as soon as i started to turn, i saw it was an entrance ramp to the HIGHWAY. there was nothing i could do. i couldn't stop, i couldn't turn around, i HAD to keep going. go i did until i saw the first exit which of course i took. do i turn right or do i turn left at the exit? well i of course chose the WRONG direction. i chose right (later, i find out from a friend if i chose LEFT, i WOULD have ended back up near the mall). i ended up in new britain. i went by the new britain museum of art (a GREAT one by the way! they have dusk by maxfield parish among many other things). i ended up by the hospital, i ended up by the polish restaurants (new britain has an inordinate amount of poles and a TON of polish businesses among which are (from what i hear) some exceptional restaurants. i SHOULD have stopped and gotten myself a pierogi but there are a lot of things i SHOULD have done. i saw a police officer by a construction site and asked him how to get back to my town. he told me to keep going straight and i'll see a sign for route 72 east which will take me to i-84 which will take me to west hartford. well that involved MORE highway driving but i was desperate and i WAS going to do it no matter what. well i kept driving straight and saw a sign for 72 WEST so of course i drove right by it (i think that 72 west had a link to 84 EAST but that is now in hindsight) and became MORE lost. i ended up in forestville and berlin and on the border of southington. oh, i kept stopping and asking for directions. i called everyone i knew and no one was answering the phone. i saw a soldier in full cammo regalia with jaunty beret and i stopped and asked HIM how to get back to west hartford. i saw another officer and asked HIM too. i was deeper and deeper in the twilight zone (at least i had my tunes. at least the day was warm and it wasn't raining out). i finally saw a bunch of people standing outside a mini mart/gas station. i pulled in and walked up to the closest person. that person was some chullo gang member with full colors and tear drop tattoos under his eyes (we all know what that means). i was shaking but NOT because of him, because of the full out panic attack i was in the middle of. he couldn't help me BUT the dude on the bike (cool looking older man with long grey hair and a pony tail) did. he told me to follow the street (arch) across main street and soon i'll come upon stanley street. my heart perked up. I KNEW STANLEY STREET. i knew if i FOUND STANLEY STREET i'd be able to wend my way home. well i was driving and driving and i didn't see any stanley street. i called another friend (that used to work at the new britain museum so i was SURE he could help me) and low and behold HE ANSWERED THE PHONE! just as i was crying out 'dimitri, HELP ME I'M LOST IN NEW BRITAIN' i saw a sign that said STANLEY STREET. i was in the wrong lane to turn so i had to go straight and turn around and all sorts of ugly stuff BUT i did it. meanwhile, dimitri asked me just how drunk i was (i wasn't drunk AT ALL, quite SOBER as a matter of fact, but right about then i KNEW that was going to change as soon as i found my way home). dimitri calmed me down and i got on STANLEY STREET. ok ok ok. i don't know HOW this happened and it should NOT have happened, BUT i ended up on the highway again. this time i knew i was going in the RIGHT direction though. i saw a sign for the mall and i JUMPED off the highway. i quickly ran into target, got my gift certificate and CAME HOME. went to the pub, got drunk, end of story.

oh, i was lost 1 hour and 45 minutes. NOW end of story

dusk maxfield parrish